Kiss and tell...

What I look forward to the most after losing this weight, besides looking like Heidi Klum (yeah, that's right, I have goals) is the *ahem* 'skinny romance'.  Something about the way my confidence rises as I lose makes things hotter between my fella and I.  After almost twenty years of marriage, that may only amount to a slight increase in hotness  (like maybe a flimsy matchbook match or a lighter that's low on lighter fluid) but seriously, I'll take what I can get.

I mentioned that I had lost a CHUNK of weight back in 2007.  I had begun to slowly gain it back in 2008.  Then my fella did something life changing - he quit his job and started a small business.  Then, because he hadn't quite freaked me out enough, he moved the kids and I waaaay away from our friends and family to a community where we knew NO. ONE.  

I was not happy in the beginning.  I felt isolated, lonely, out of place, and homesick.  The slow gain that I had started became a steady gain.  By August of this year, I was close to fifty pounds overweight and teetering toward an all time non-pregnancy high of 200 pounds!  Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming my husband.  He certainly didn't force me to medicate with food.

I didn't stay miserable in our new community - at least not with the community itself.  I began to see how God had blessed my kids, how he had blessed our entire family, and I realized, "Hey!  I can be happy here!"  That's when it hit me; maybe I should quit punishing my husband by making him sleep with a fat chick. 

I am not saying for one moment that he hasn't been anything but loving and devoted to me.  But let's face it, when there is fat between you and your lover, that encompasses a lot more than just size.  There is a large amount of self confidence issues that come with obesity (or maybe it's only me that feels that way).  It can become like an emotional wedge inserted between two people, even if they love each other.  Baggage is baggage folks, whether it's physical or emotional (or both), and it just isn't good!


So as my weight decreases and my confidence increases, I tend to be more of a vixen (boy, doesn't my Southern Baptist self LOVE using that word) with my husband.  He doesn't mind a bit (bless his heart).  So yeah, that's just one more (fabulous) thing to motivate me!